Lauren McEachranRelationship Coach, Attract Love, Relationships, Law Of Attraction, Healthy Relationships

Do you find yourself regularly asking more and more of your partner when you are in a relationship?

Do you find more things that they do everyday that seems to be annoying?

Do you tend to say more negative things about them then positive?

Do you criticize them often?

We all hate to be nagged at and criticizsed, especially considering women seem to do it more often to their man.  After you have been in a long term relationship for a while, a lot of couples tend to forget all the wonderful things that they do for each other and only get upset when something doesn’t get done or is done wrong.

Don’t be on autopilot, stop and look around to express gratitude to your partner for all the little things they do for you, the kids, animals, the house and maybe even your friends.  William James said it in his famous quote ~

“The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

Just saying thank you may not have such a lasting affect.  Whereas using touch when you say thank you, will have a more lasting affect as it will involve feeling as well.

We tend to blame the other person too easily without understanding all the facts about the situation first.  Also think about the main reason the mistake may have been made in the first place.  Maybe there was a misunderstanding, maybe they were following their own happiness or maybe they just did it because they thought it would make you happy.  Whatever the reason, make sure you completely understand where you partner is coming from without having to criticize.

I love this movie and I thought it would be a great reminder of what drives men away in a relationship.  This movie uses classic examples of how some women behave in the beginning of a relationship.

So the women who have trouble keeping  a relationship need to look at the habits they are currently in with men and if they want to break them so they can re-create new habits that will be beneficial for a long term relationship.

The movie “How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days” is a great romantic comedy expressing the common mistakes women make with men in relationships, especially in the beginning stage.  A lot of the acts that Andie (Kate Hudson) displays are obviously exaggerated, but women still need to understand the main points displayed in this movie.  I decided to go through these points as a reminder of what you may be doing now with men that you date and that you may not be unconsciously aware of it:

• Calling/texting him all the time
• Spending too much time with him too soon
• Complaining a lot, especially in a different tone of voice
• Bringing personal stuff of yours to his house too soon
• Tracking down his family to learn more about him
• Criticizing him and trying to change him
• Clingy, needy & using ‘baby talk’

This movie does explain it well what drives men away from women.  For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, check out the trailer to get an understanding of what it’s about ~

Fast Tube by Casper

Majority of Men prefer a woman who is:

• Independent
• easy going
• smiles easily
• Is already happy & doesn’t expect him to make her happy
• confident

These are just some examples of little things that can help you improve your dating experiences.  So with your next relationship, pay more attention to how you could be driving him away and remember “less means more” in the beginning.

The best way for women to improve their long term relationship immediately is to let their man know that they are grateful for every little thing he does for her.  Acknowledge and show him admiration when you see what he does so you can share with him the emotion you feel when you see him do something special or kind.

Another great thing you can do for a man is when he does compliment you, just say thank you.  Never ever disagree with a compliment that your man gives you.

Guys, whether a woman will say it or not, she does prefer a little romance.  A way of using this to improve your relationship is with compliments to her, and women thrive on compliments.  This doesn’t even have to cost you anything to let her know that she is special.

Other little things you can do for her which will make her feel special and loved can be a simple text message or note,  saying that you are thinking of her today and how she makes you feel.  Even picking flowers from a garden or the side of the road if you don’t want to spend money at a florist will do the same trick to add a little romance.

Another important issue with relationships is not to take each other for granted.  Make sure you tell each other when you see something nice has been done for you.  This also shows recognition of how you appreciate what the other person does that makes your relationship fulfilling and lasting.  Also don’t be afraid to involve touching them throughout the day if possible.  Holding hands, hugging, cuddling or even a soft touch on the cheek can show them love.

Also make sure you are aware of what your partner likes and enjoys doing the most so that you can help your partner make more time to do that.  We are most happy when we are doing what we love whether it be a hobby, sport or any other interest that excites us as it’s nourishing for the soul to keep learning and growing.

The smallest and simplest things can often make the biggest differences when done more frequently than big things for each other.  Be more attentive towards each other without keeping score.  Women need to learn to allow men to help and give more, without feeling like they have to do more in return.  This has primarily come from us being natural givers and nurturers from our mothering instincts, but you must allow the man to take care of you also.

Before you can be in that great relationship that you dream of and that you know you can have, there is something more important that you have to understand first.  You have to be truly happy within yourself.  A great book which I just read called “Happy For No Reason” by Marci Shimoff and is one of the most amazing books to help you in every area of your life.  If you are happy within, then everything else around you seems to effortlessly fall into place.

Marci was featured in the movie The Secret which opens our eyes more to the natural everyday law of the universe called the law of attraction.  Wikipedia defines the phrase, Law of Attraction as an “idea that thoughts influence chance”.  It also states that “the Law of Attraction argues that thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) can affect things outside the head, not just through motivation, but by other means.  The Law of Attraction says that which is like unto itself is drawn”.

Global Oneness puts it in a more basic understanding that the “Law of attraction says that all your thoughts, all images in your mind, and all the feelings connected to your thoughts will later manifest as your reality. In other words; everything you have in your life – now – has been attracted to you through your mind”.

So now that you know that everything around you has been attracted to you by your thoughts, focus and feelings, the first key to change is awareness.  Once you are aware how you think, you can then change your thoughts to more positive ones of what you actually do want in your life.

This can be difficult at first, because you have to look at people and things differently and in a positive way.  There is always something good happening around you; you’re just too busy focusing on what’s wrong.

When you change this, you will start to notice a difference.  The main thing to focus on is gratitude.  Being grateful for everything you have in your life right now.  The more you are grateful for, the more the universe will send you more things to be grateful for.

I’m going to do a brief review of each chapter of Marci’s book on Happy For No Reason, so here is a quote from the book which also gives you a break down of what’s contained in the book:

“Many books on happiness just focus on the mind, but if you don’t also address your habitual behaviour in the other areas of your life, you won’t experience true happiness.  Here’s an overview of the steps:

1. The Foundation – Take Ownership of Your Happiness
2. The Pillar of the Mind – Don’t Believe Everything You Think
3. The Pillar of the Heart – Let Love Lead
4. The Pillar of the Body – Make Your Cells Happy
5. The Pillar of the Soul – Plug Yourself In to Spirit
6. The Roof – Live a Life Inspired by Purpose
7. The Garden – Cultivate Nourishing Relationships”

I will do a short separate review on each other those chapters every few days to give you more insight into finding that deep happy state.  But I do suggest reading the book in its entirety when you get the chance and I will finish with a quote:

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence” – Aristotle