Lauren McEachranRelationship Coach, Attract Love, Relationships, Law Of Attraction, Healthy Relationships

Is your relationship with yourself affecting your relationship with others?  Are you happy with the person you are?  Are you happy with how you look after yourself?  Are you happy with your current career & lifestyle choices?  Are you happy with the way you talk and treat others?

The universe mirrors people and circumstances in relation to what’s going on inside yourself, even if it’s unconscious.  So when you find yourself being critical of others, it usually means you’re quite critical of yourself.

This is where it’s important to remember that you are unique, there is no one else quite like you and there is so much you have to offer the world with people that you meet everyday.  When you are happy within your own life, that happiness radiates from you onto others whether you are conscious of it or not.

It’s been scientifically proven now that we have approximately 60,000 thoughts everyday going on in our head, and the majority of those are unconscious.  So imagine if you became more aware of your thoughts and were able to control them and change them to what you want to think about.  We now know that we do get what we think about, so if you are constantly saying negative things about yourself, then that’s how other people will see you.

So from now on, sit, stand and walk tall feeling confident that you are special and here in this universe for a reason.  You are helping people everyday whether you are aware of that too or not.  Even a simple smile at another person can help them uplift their day.

So let’s now change your thoughts to more empowering ones including I am a genius, I love and accept myself as I am, I have a great memory, I am amazing at everything I do, I am highly creative.  The list you can create for positive thoughts can be endless.  Make notes of these new thoughts you want to create and stick them somewhere where you can see them often like in a diary.  I even heard the story of a lady who wears an elastic rubber band and every time she says a negative thought about herself or others, she snaps it on her herself as a reminder.

One of the hardest things for many people to do is to look at themselves in the mirror and say ‘I love you’.  Try it today and smile when you do it

Book review of The Complete Book of Rules ~ Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right

Interesting book written by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider that really helps all women who have trouble maintaining a long term relationship.  I know myself that there are many rules in the book that I have broken myself.  It makes sense because when you’re not really interested in a guy, that’s when he chases you and when you are really interested, the you’re too available and he sees you as needy and too easy.  This book even outlines the reasons for the rules and why they work.

This book goes through 55 Rules that women need to stick by in order to have the man of their dreams chase and marry them.  It also includes the history behind them, success stories and making sure you are ready before you meet your handsome prince.

As listed on their website, the overall objective of the rules is to get the man to pursue the woman at all times, because even though men may not always admit it, but they prefer having to chase a woman rather than her being too easy.

If guys then become confused as to knowing if she really likes them because she is hard to get a hold of or book a future date with, well, you will be able to tell by the way she listens attentively, reciprocates the flirting and will be excited to hear from you or see you.

For example, being the kind, generous and giving person I am, I was happy to meet him half way, organize things for him, buy him things I knew he wanted or liked and try to help him change for the better.  But that’s not how guys like to be treated.  Men don’t want to be told what to do, how to act or what to wear.  Men want to be your hero, your knight in shining armour who can help you with things, spoil you, be attentive to you and treat you like a princess.  All you have to do is be a lady, confident, polite, kind and empathetic without gift giving (except for birthdays & Christmas) and busy with your own life so that you can allow him to chase you.

Don’t ever call! If he’s interested, he’ll call….I just finished reading The Rules. That is the best book ever

—KELLY ROWLAND Destiny’s Child (CosmoGIRL!)

The 7th & final point from the Recharge Your Relationship article is:

• Refocus on the main game

This means that your relationship with each other is the primary focus and priority.  Don’t let your partner come in 2nd to your work or job, there are ways and means to keep them feeling special and most important, even while you’re at work.

Appreciate and compliment your partner everyday.  Even when you have children, it’s still important to make a special time just for each other at least once a week.  If you find it hard to make time for each other because of children, just remember children grow up and move on, whereas you may want your partner to be around long after that.

An example of this can be like when you’re wanting to lose weight.  Going 1 day without eating your favourite candy bar isn’t going to help you lose weight, it’s doing a little bit every day like exercise and replacing those sugar and oily processed foods for a more healthy alternative.  So its the same with relationships, you work on it a little everyday so that you build up a bond together that will make it last.

This can include everyday little gifts, gestures, text messages that will make them smile.  Don’t over do it though and think of it as a competition where I gave more than you.  You will see each other giving little bits every day and just feeling grateful for each other for being thoughtful.  This also requires listening and paying close attention to what the other person likes and doesn’t like.  This will mean more than spending a lot on them for their birthday, so make sure you do something regular every day or every week.

This will build understanding of each other and more general happiness and gratitude towards each other.

Imagine getting a beautiful note like this from your beloved:

The 5th part of Recharge Your Relationship is:

• Play a little

As a couple busy during their everyday lives of working, cleaning, socializing with friends and family, you forget the importance of making time for you and your partner to have time together to create fun experiences.

Some of these can include theme parks, bush walking, mini golf, horse riding, island cruise, snorkeling, hot air ballooning, jet boating, jet skiing, day tours, zoo or wildlife adventure park.

It’s been proven that enjoyable experiences create a “mood-enhancing chemical dopamine: If your partner is present when your body generates this hormone, that feeling becomes linked to them” according to social psychologist Arthur Aron, PhD from Stony Brook University, USA.

I found an interesting article called “Recharge Your Relationship” in a small magazine called Prevention, Australia.  I’d like to share and summarize what I read and how it can help you in the future.  It includes 7 points relating to your overall relationship and how you act and communicate with each other on a regular basis and how that effects your relationship long term.  The 1st point is:

• Accentuate the Positive

There are good and bad traits with every relationship and every one has their own perception of ups and downs.  It’s important to realize that positive acknowledgments towards each other despite arguments, are what keep you remembering how special the other person is regardless.

So giving compliments to each other when you notice they do something nice for you is really important, no matter how small the gesture is .  What’s also affective is a loving touch that goes with the compliment, because how you feel in the situation is remembered more than words.

So it’s suggested that for every negative interaction you have with each other, there should be a follow up of 5 positives ones.  This will help you remember that your relationship has more positive attributes than negatives which will help it to stay strong.

Next point coming soon…

Hi, my name is Lauren and I am a relationship coach and I would like to answer the popular question of “What is a relationship coach?” that a lot of people seem to be asking.  I am a relationship coach who will be sharing my ideas, book reviews from relationship books I read, tips and any bits of information I can find on having awesome, life long, happy relationship.

Firstly, it’s important to look at exactly what coaching is.

Wikipedia defines coaching as –

“A method of directing, instructing and training a person or group of people, with the aim to achieve some goal or develop specific skills.”

“Sessions may be one-on-one either or in a group setting, in-person or over the telephone or via IRC. It may include seminars, workshops, or supervised practice.”

Wikipedia then defines dating coaching as –

“Coaches whose job it is to direct and train people to improve their success in dating and relationships.  A dating coach directs and trains his/her clients on various aspects of meeting and attracting long-term partners and meeting more compatible prospects. The focus of most programs is on confident and congruent communication. Dating coaches may focus on topics important to the art of dating: interpersonal skills, flirting, psychology, sociology, compatibility, fashion and recreational activities.”

In summary, the goal of relationship coaching is to observe yourself differently, find real love within yourself and others, so you can attract the right person for you.

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is quite powerful in helping people attract the person of their dreams, which is why it’s important to explain exactly what it is here:

NLP is defined as a controversial approach to psychotherapy and organizational change based on “a model of interpersonal communication chiefly concerned with the relationship between successful patterns of behaviour and the subjective experiences (esp. patterns of thought) underlying them”.  NLP also “educates people in self-awareness and effective communication, to change their patterns of mental and emotional behaviour”.

To break NLP down, it’s a connection between neurological processes (‘neuro’), language (‘linguistic’) and behavioural patterns that have been learned through experience (‘programming’) and that can then be organized and controlled with new awareness to achieve specific goals in life.

So, still wondering what is a relationship coach?  Relationship coaches can vary with different coaches offering their own unique service.  But my own perspective of this service is a guided hand to listen to your individual concerns surrounding relationships and to offer some specific options to help resolve those issues and to stick by you until you get the results that you’re looking for.