Lauren McEachranRelationship Coach, Attract Love, Relationships, Law Of Attraction, Healthy Relationships

What do you do when your “ex” calls or you feel like calling your “ex”?

Is it a good idea to stay in contact with an ex?  Would you allow them to be just friends?  Would you date them again?

I’m sure most of us have had an ex at one point or another.  After the process of breaking up, sometimes they come back into our lives or ask if they can remain friends.  There has been a few debates about ex’s and whether to stay in contact with them or not.

In my experience, remaining friends with an ex hasn’t helped me much.  If I did the breaking, then they would try and get back with me even though I said I just wanted to be friends.  If they did the breaking, it hurt too much to spend time with them as I was constantly thinking of how to get them back.  I guess it would work if you were both mutually agreeing not to get back together, but wanted to remain friends to share family (if a child is involved), business activities or interests.

I have found that cutting all ties has worked best for me.  This means getting rid of anything that they gave you during the relationship and even anything that reminds you of them.  This has also needed to be the case because when it comes down to it, we didn’t really have much in common anyway.  So I have learned a lot of lessons from my ex’s about who to date in the future and not to get caught up in infatuation or lust which wears off eventually.  It’s important to have chemistry though for it to work, but not just chemistry alone.  As Dr. John Gray states that “there will need to be compatibility and chemistry”.  He also shares that there are 4 types of Chemistry that are all important to have for a long term relationship.  There is Emotional Chemistry, Mental Chemistry, Physical Chemistry & Soul Chemistry (Soulmate).  I might do the next blog going into more detail about this.

So if you do have “ex” enquiries or concerns, then depending on your situation, you will need to re-evaluate whether you were right for each other in the first place.  Lovetalklounge did some great interviews with a variety of relationship experts about whether or not its good to keep in contact with your ex.  Here are some of the videos:

httpv://youtu.be/vzfxpb87t9I

Is It Healthy To Hang Out With Your Ex – Farhana Dhalla

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veSACDsy2Os

Is It Healthy To Hang Out With Your Ex – Mali & Joe

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o__ClzgxsTI&feature=related

Is It Healthy To Hang Out With Your Ex – Barry Selby

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjL2TdXweso&feature=related

Is It Healthy To Hang Out With Your Ex – Liesel Rigsby

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1j0GkERdR-w&feature=related

Is It Healthy To Hang Out With Your Ex – Stephen Garrett

When I was listening to Joe Vitale’s audio The Attractor Factor, he mentions a quicker way to go through all the steps of the attractor factor.  His answer for this is “Be Happy Now”.  He also says sarcastically, that this is a little secret which he doesn’t want to share, but I thought it was important, especially in regard to relationships where we tend to get so stressed out over little things.

If you were to look around you right now & find something to smile about, wouldn’t your life seem beautiful?  The harder you look for things to smile about, the more you will find things to smile about.

This is where I find appreciation comes into it.  Appreciation of everything you have, your family, friends, resources, facilities and even yourself for who you are.  For being kind and generous to others which spreads because others are then inclined to do for others as well.

This can start a chain reaction that not only affects your partner or even potential future partner, but people will enjoy being around you more and you will attract more loving people and things into your life.

Life is beautiful and amazing if you choose now for it to be!

Well, I’m sure there is a time in your life where you have been through a lot of hurt.  I know I have, and when I feel hurt especially in a relationship, I get so sick in the stomach that I can’t eat.  How silly is that?  Allowing actions and words of another person (partner), to influence your  feelings at a particular point in time.  I guess I don’t think of that when its happening, only later through wanting to learn how to get rid of that pain inside; why it happened? and what to do about it?

What I have realized over the years, is to control the amount of hurt that I feel from others.  It’s only the thoughts which we keep repeating in our head which allows the hurt to linger.  So if you learn to change those thoughts, then you also change those feelings.

I had a breakthrough experience myself when I was searching youtube.com on “EFT hurt” to find answers through EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) for relief from pain I was feeling on being hurt from a relationship.  The “Faster EFT for Difficult Relationships & Hurt Feelings” was my first selection.   He went through the process quite quickly and mainly talked about why that happens so I didn’t find it that beneficial to me.  Whereas when I found the EFT video by Brad Yates on Rejection and Abandonment and followed him tapping and repeating what he was saying, I realized why I felt rejected.  I won’t bore you with my story, but it involved very hurtful experiences that happened to me during my older primary school years.

From that realization that I had, I decided to change the way I look at it and forgive all involved.  So even just finding the reason why I keep creating rejection and abandonment in my life, this can hopefully give everyone a better understanding as to why it happens and what we can do about it to make it better.

Here is the video that I tapped along to, on Rejection & Abandonment:

Fast Tube by Casper

Here is another good EFT Video on Pain:

Fast Tube by Casper

Valentine’s Day is coming up and I was thinking of all the different types of flowers and their colours, and what the symbolic meanings are.  So I’ve done a little research to help the guys, and maybe the girls too, with what flowers are suitable for your situation on Valentine’s Day.  First, I’m going to look into all the main flower colours and what they mean.

The Symbol of Flower Colours:

Blue ~ Here is a picture of me next to some hydrangeas that I found in Tokyo.  Aren’t the colours just a beautiful blue.  This colour or even a deep blue of an iris is known to be calming and peaceful.   So if you are known to be a worry-wort, then this colour will let you feel openness and serenity.  These flowers can also offer relief from those who are anxious.  These can be purchased separately or in an arrangement with other flowers.

Pink ~ Pink has been known to represent grace, gentility, and happiness. There are many different varieties of flowers that are of this colour and it doesn’t matter which shape they come in.  Regardless of the shape of the flower, whether a small rose bud or the open petals of a pink camellia in full bloom.  These beautiful variable pink blossoms symbolize youth, innocence, and joy.

Purple ~ Purple flowers can be traced back where they were originally shown as representing royalty and ceremonial displays.  Purple flowers have also been tied to the representation of dignity, pride and success.  Depending on the purpose, this colour flower is outstanding both on its own or filled in a bouquet or arrangement of mixed colours.  If you prefer to mix this colour with others, it will create an appealing contrast and depth.Any arrangement assorted with purple flowers will portray a symbol of achievement and admiration.

Red ~ Red flowers contain that unbelieveable energy of love by making a definative statement.  This energy linked to these gorgeous red roses colaborates into an essense of desire, strength and passion.  There is no disputing the this colour which is so strongly associated as a symbol of love all around the world with just about any object.  But seen in the flower form, gives it more beauty with a statement of appreciation for the person who receives it.  There is no denying how much someone loves you when you receive red roses.

White ~ White flowers represent simple beauty, innocence, humility and admiration.  It is also known to have a sense of holiness and purity about it.  White on its own symbolizes wholeness, openness, truth and kindness.  Its overall presense is also very elegant, which is why it is mainly used in conjuction with weddings and parties.  White flowers mixed with other colours helps to define the other coloured flowers within the arrangement, but if white is still the primary colour, then it maintains its elegance, purity and innocence.

Yellow ~ Yellow flowers are that bright happy colour that will give you great feelings of joy and lightheartedness.  Doesn’t this colour just bring a smile to face and light you up inside. This vibrant colour coloberated into a bouquet is also known as a symbol of friendship.  You can also send an arrangement of yellow flowers  to represent a message of new beginnings and happiness.

Orange ~ With orange flowers being close to the red passionate colour, an orange arrangement also makes a bold statement about passion for life.  These orange blooms are known for their symbol of energy, enthusiasm and warmth.  They are also known to portray confidence, pride and strong will.

Green ~ As the main representational colour of nature, green flowers are a statement of perfect harmony in both individual arrangements or mixed with a variety of other colours.  In relation to nature, patience is the ultimate aspect of this colour, as nature grows flowers at the slow and steady pace of perfection.  These green flowers are the perfect complement to any other arrangement.  On their own, they portray a life of good health, strong will, fortune and youth with an overall message of being renewed and having positivity.

Lavender ~ This colour speaks of femininity, unlike it’s close relative of the purple.  Being a mixture of the purple and pink flower colours, it spells refinement, grace and elegance.  Violet flowers are also very delicate and precious with much beauty, holding an almost sacred place in nature.

Of all the successful long term relationships that I know of, whether from close friends or from famous people, they all have one thing in common =  Their partner is also their best friend.

So, what does it mean to have a best friend:

Someone you communicate with very well?

Someone you tell all of your hopes and dreams to, as well as someone who supports you during the tough times?

You have similar interests?

Someone who will be there for you no matter what?

Someone who loves you just the way you are?

Someone who will never critisize you or put you down?

Someone you can rely on all the time?

So this got me thinking that if you had a partner who was your best friend, the chances of you staying together long term is very likely.  This is where a relationship means more than just infatuation, more than lust, more than just being addicted to the other person.  This is where the connection really takes place between the two of you.

You feel comfortable talking to them about ANYTHING that is on your mind cause you know that they will understand.  Best friends are someone we can trust, someone who will not judge you or talk negatively about you.  They become one of the most important people in your life and help you to become the person you really want to be.